Picture this. You take your little one swimming and are having a wonderful time. You threw her in the air, spin her round and watched her float and kick about in her brand new bright pink arm bands. You marvel at her confidence and take pleasure in her excited little face as she continually jumps in and goes under with no worries, absolutely squealing with delight on resurfacing.

Then in a blink of an eye it all changes.

For some strange reason unknown to anyone but herself, she pulls off her arm bands right there in front of you, chucks them in the pool before running off and jumping in.

As a mum, you are completely helpless. You know you can’t possibly stop stop her or reach her in time either. You know that this could be disastrous and all end in tears. She is only two years old and cannot yet swim.

Honestly you couldn’t make this stuff up but it’s exactly what happened when I took Daisy swimming alone for the first time yesterday.

It all happened so quickly but I could see what she was going to do almost in slow motion. I called to the life guard “stop her” And thankfully he did. Literally seconds before I reached her, she was under water, bubbles all around her but he jumped in and grabbed her, pulling back up to me and to safety.

I felt sick. I felt relieved. I felt useless. I felt ecstatic. I felt terrible but Daisy….

…well she didn’t even realise anything was wrong. She was perfectly fine. Afterall she came back up. In fact she went on to have a tantrum right there and then because I took her out of the pool and told her it was time to go. Despite having been in there for an hour already. Those screams and tears caused me nothing but relief though, I wasn’t embarrassed, I just smiled. Afterall she was still here and her behaviour meant she was more than okay. Phew thank goodness for that.

The whole experience made me think back to leaving hospital with Poppy all those years ago. My husband was absolutely terrified about how on earth we would keep our gorgeous, helpless, little baby alive. For some reason I was completely the opposite. From the very start I was a very relaxed parent and had no doubt that we would manage far better than just keeping her alive.

Today though was the first day when I doubted my ability.

Daisy has always been my fearless one. She could climb before she could walk. She hangs off or climbs on everything, she jumps, dances and spins everywhere narrowly missing bouncing of pieces of furniture daily. She can even climb up a bunk bed without the ladder. But today she took her extreme behaviours to a new level and almost drowned. She very nearly did.

Yesterday afternoon I was exhausted, wiped out. Instead of putting her down for a nap I might have just snuggled up to her, enjoying the feeling of my daughters little arms wrapped around me and breathing in her scent. She seemed to sense my relief, constantly telling me “you’re my best friend, you’re my mummy” and covering me in more kisses than normal. It could have been so different though.

I am going to persevere and take her again. I want it to be a weekly thing so we can become confident together in the water but I must admit that right now I’m very nervous about it too.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye and I’m well aware that this could have been a very different post.

Karen x