Ham House – Spoilt By A Grumpy Woman

Regular visitors will know that we have been members of the National Trust for a few years now and are usually out and about exploring somewhere most weekends. With houses to explore, play trails and crafty activities to join in with, the girls are never bored and we can get on with doing what we like best – having family fun and taking lovely photos of them. We are huge fans of the National Trust and usually only ever have nice things to say about the places and staff:

At 3, 5 and 7 our girls are pretty well behaved as long as we watch for the cues, we can usually avoid any major melt downs or scenes. We take their leads, explore the inside of the houses in small doses and mainly enjoy time playing in the gardens or stopping at the cafe for a hot chocolate pit stop. This often means we visit the same place over and over in order to see it all:

Last week after a fantastic visit to both Lanhydrock and Trerice House in Cornwall, the girls interest in the inside of the old houses had actually been sparked and they were desperate to go and visit Ham House in Surrey. Usually they enjoy the gardens, trails and the activities or story times in the cellar at Ham House but they are not really interested much in the inside of the house. I was therefore thrilled to see all three of them excited and asking to go in…. So in we went.

It started off well. The girls are pretty well behaved and understand the rules. They are usually given a little trail or quiz to follow, don’t touch unless told you can, don’t run off too far or be too noisy as other people are enjoying the house too. They are good girls really and we don’t usually have any trouble from them.

Upstairs though Daisy (aged 3) touched a chair. She had one hand on it when Rosie turned to her and said “you’re not allowed to touch Daisy”. Now to put this into perspective yes it was a very old chair and no she should not have been touching it but it  was not behind a rope, she was not climbing on it, sat on it or jumping on it, she just had her hand on it. The older ones weren’t actually doing anything at all but before we knew what was happening or could tell Daisy to come away ourselves, a very rude member of staff shouted from another side of the room at them all, telling them to get away from the chairs.

She did try to explain after that they were very old but the way she had spoken to them was really not on. She was actually in the middle of talking to another lady on the other side of the room when this happened and made no effort to even approach us (even after she had shouted). She just continued talking at us from the other side of the room, causing a bit of a scene.

I was embarrassed and actually quite annoyed but quickly just moved them on without saying anything. I didn’t want to be confrontational. However, once home I was angry and dissapointed. After being told off the girls understandably were only interested in getting down to below the stairs as quickly as possible where children really are welcome. She had dampened their new found enthusiasm:

The staff at these National Trust houses and gardens are usually fantastic. They are usually brilliant with children, making them feel welcome and special. Yes they watch them to make sure they are not getting into any trouble but in a way that you don’t mind.  In fact everyone else we met that day did just that. It is one of the things we love about our days out and what makes us members of the National Trust. This particular lady though did the complete opposite. She made the house boring and stuffy for the girls, she made them feel unimportant and not good enough to be there, I really didn’t like that and to be honest I don’t think the National Trust would be happy either.

Now I have no trouble with the staff telling my children not to touch but It was the way she did it I was unhappy with. It would have been much better if she had actually just approached us and explained to the children in a nice, calm voice that the chairs were very old so you are not allowed to touch them. As with most children, the girls would have respected that, smiled, said ok and carried on happily, not touching anything:

Despite a fantastic time in playing in the beautiful gardens, making kites and flying them as well as a few games of hide and peek (Daisys words), this experience did have a knock on effect to our day:

Sadly I don’t actually think we will be going back to ham House in a hurry, which really is a bit of a shame, especially as we have been regular visitors for over a year now and it really is a lovely place to visit:

Karen x