Have you ever been really stressed? I mean so stressed you feel like you might be balancing on the edge of something scary?
What do I mean? Some sort of breakdown? I don't really know but definitely something crazy. Not yourself yourself at all.
That's how I feel right now.
My blood feels as though it's bubbling around my body, boiling hot and ready to explode out of my head at any moment.
My shoulders hurt from from carrying around all this added pressure.
Actually make that my whole body aches all the time, even my arms and my fingers.
I don't have butterflies – no more like baby elephants kicking around inside my tummy. It's really not nice.
I want to scream (and do quite frequently).
I want to cry (and do over any little thing, they've all added up you see).
I'm not getting enough sleep, it's pointless even trying before midnight which isn't ideal when I have to get up with three young girls in the morning.
I know I am stressed.
I have every reason to be stressed.
We are moving.
The girls don't want to go.
They are also being extra naughty in the hope it means they get to stay. I don't get it but apparently that's how they think.
Rosie doesn't have a school place still. I have written about our lack of school place three times before.
This is my biggest worry.
We have been waiting for school news for the whole Summer! A dark cloud hovering over us. It's madness leaving one area and a fantastic school place to go to another with no offers.
We have no choice though. We are an Army family. Moving is what we do.
Rosie desperately wants to start school in September and I have to tell her everytime she asks, “sorry sweetheart we don't know what's happening yet”. Or “there isn't a place yet”. It's scary enough starting school without the added pressure of not knowing if you can actually go or not.
It's irresponsible and cruel. I feel so guilty, like it's all my fault and that I'm letting her down. I don't know whose fault it is but this family has had enough, we are at breaking point, we need to know she has a school place.
It's all too much.
This morning the girls were fighting, Daisy broke my glasses and then unravelled all the toilet roll. Usually I would have been fed up and a bit cross but today I felt so emotional I burst into tears on both occasions. Totally irrational and inappropriate I know but I couldn't help it.
I felt like I was loosing it.
Thank goodness for parents! From tomorrow mine are having the girls for a few nights so we can finish doing what we need to in this house and move into the next.
There's light at the end of the tunnel.
I know it will get easier.
Next week we will have all moved, Poppy will have started school and hopefully the girls would have met some potential friends. We might even get the news we are waiting for on the school front for Rosie. Fingers crossed.
Until then wish us luck, we need it.
Karen x
jenny paulin
August 28, 2014 at 6:59 am (10 years ago)oh Karen I am so sorry to hear this. it must be such a terrible sitaution and as much as you knew what you were letting yourself oin for when you married in to an army way of life, it still does not make things evry easy. I would hate to have to move around as much as you have to 🙁 , it is bad enough packing to go away on holiday!
I realy hope that everything will get sorted with Rosie’s school, that must be so hard for you as her mum.
(hugs) lovely and wishing you lots of luck in your move x
Would like to be
September 14, 2014 at 8:35 pm (10 years ago)Thank you soo much Jenny, it’s all settling down now but felt as though I was going mad xx
Loving life with little ones
August 28, 2014 at 7:31 am (10 years ago)You actually brought a lump to my throat reading this karen, I hate the way you are feeling at the moment and hope so much that it is all sorted out as soon as you move. I hope a short break from the girls will give you a little boost and in a few days the move will be over and hopefully Rosie will get the news you are waiting for. x Big hugs x
Would like to be
September 14, 2014 at 8:37 pm (10 years ago)Thanks so much Sarah. It’s amazing the impact of not having a school place effected us, I wouldn’t have dreamt it would have been so bad. Things are settling down now she has one though xx
HELEN
August 28, 2014 at 9:41 am (10 years ago)oh no Karen, this is horrible for you to be going through this, poor you & poor Rosie. I am sure it will sort itself out soon but at the moment I’m sure those thoughts don’t help. I hope the move goes as well as it can and you get settled into your new home soon xx
Would like to be
September 14, 2014 at 8:38 pm (10 years ago)Thanks Helen. All is calming down now Rosie has a place. Thanks so much for your support xx