Why should a little girl who is interested in nature and animals, curious about insects and bugs and not be afraid of them either, be described as a boy or a “tom boy”? Last week I was getting a bit fed up of comments made about my youngest Daisy:
Not quite four yet, Daisy loves bugs and spends hours in the garden collecting and playing with them. She is always covered in cuts and brusises and is pretty sporty too (she can run pretty fast, throw and catch well and even kick a ball quite far). Equally though she adores dressing up as a princess or ballerina (she does this many times a day), loves the colour pink, hates to wear anything she can’t dance in, loves anything to do with fairies and unicorns and spends hours playing with her babies. All pretty girly behaviour I would say:
One day she might take her teachers a big fat wiggly worm she found on the way in to school but the very next day she might pick them each a bunch of daisy’s and dandelions. So why should she be called a boy or tomboy and why should it upset me so much?
It was around the time that Daisy was born that we decided as a family we needed to embrace more of an outdoors lifestyle. Since she was tiny we began getting outdoors every weekend, on long walks in the countryside and visiting National Trust parks and gardens. She has always enjoyed being out in the fresh air and the freedom it brings with it, does this make her a boy? I don’t think so:
As parent’s, we encourage our children to spend plenty of time outside and do all the things we did growing up before there were such things as computers, iPads and games consoles. Why shouldn’t our girls climb trees, roll down hills, play with balls and yes…even enjoy a good old fashoioned bug hunt? Where is it written that only boys should enjoy these sorts of things?
Hello, it’s the 21st Century and a time where girls can do anything they want to if they try hard enough just like boys. I really think its time to say goodbye to these gender stereotypes and unhelpful labels!
My daughter is not boy like – she is gorgeous, adventurous, fearless and inquisitive and I see nothing wrong with that!
Karen x
Helen Tristram
May 19, 2016 at 2:49 pm (9 years ago)I think there is more gender reinforcement now than when I was a girl growing up in the fifties and sixties. In many ways girls have more equality and freedom but everything is pink/lilac or blue. Many girls look beautiful in blue and boys in pink. What happened to the other colours? Grandmother to two boys who I always buy /make bright coloured jumpers and clothes for and they love them.
Would Like to Be
May 20, 2016 at 10:00 pm (9 years ago)You are probably right and I must admit with three girls we have a lot of pink in the house. We love brightly coloured clothes too but ours are usually quite girly.I don’t know how any of my girls can be described as boys really as its the girlies household I know!
Coombe Mill - Fiona
May 21, 2016 at 12:03 am (9 years ago)Knowing Daisy I can safely say there is nothing boyish about her. Do you know I’d never even thought of bug hunts as being for boys or girls. It is something we love to embrace at Coombe Mill and girls love it just as much as boys. Equally the boys will happily join me in making things for the fairy gardens here. Bugs and fairies are for everyone and you do so well letting your girls enjoy an outdoor lifestyle. Georgeous photos and pretty outfits as ever and just perfect for any young bug hunter! Thank you for sharing with me on #CountryKids.
Would Like to Be
May 23, 2016 at 1:18 pm (9 years ago)Thank you, I was feeling a bit sensitive when I wrote this. I mean most children love to do these things if given the chance. It seems a shame that people label them as boy and girl activities
Cheryl | TimeToCraft
May 21, 2016 at 5:42 am (9 years ago)Goodness. Why does someone think that boys should have all the fun? I have two girls and one boy who are all intrigued by nature. We are forever calling each other over to see a latest nature find. Not much pink gets worn admittedly, but I’m pretty sure no one would mistake the girls for boys. All my children climb trees and are not afraid to get muddy. I don’t think I’ve ever had one of the girls descibed as a tom boy.
Would it upset me if they did? No, it would puzzle me. I’d probably think it was an out-dated concept and said more about the person saying it, than about the chilld. Why limit one gender? Why shouldn’t girls do all these things too?
Who knows what Daisy will go on to do. It could be a wonderful start for someone that will go on to make awesome discoveries in science, because you helped her to develop enquiring mind.#CountryKids
Would Like to Be
May 23, 2016 at 1:23 pm (9 years ago)Thank you for your kind words. I don’t know why I was upset really, its so silly. She’s a gorgeous little girl who is full of character and inquisitive about the world. I’m sure I remember people saying my middle one was a tom boy too and again their was nothing boy like about her either. Both of them are dirt magnets though so maybe people think girls shouldn’t get dirty…strange really!!
Emma T
May 22, 2016 at 9:40 pm (9 years ago)Good for her for enjoying the outdoors. I think at her age there’s no way you can determine whether a girl is a tomboy or not. Surely all kids of 4 do the same thing in play and loving the outside, unless they’re just really girly and sit inside all the time playing with make up and doing nails. I was a typical tomboy age around 7-13 – wore trousers all the time outside school, loved sport, played out on the green at home with all the boys including football and cricket.but then so did a lot of my girl friends too. It is a bit of an outdated term.
Would Like to Be
May 23, 2016 at 1:26 pm (9 years ago)You are so right, children do change. At the moment she adores bug hunting in a tutu, next year it will be something else i’m sure. Thanks for commenting x