You know those Mums you see on the school run looking haggard, running along, pushing a pram, hair scraped back, not had a chance to shower yet or wash their hair in days?….Well that’s been me recently and whilst I might not usually be a perfectly groomed Yummy Mummy, I’m usually a pretty chilled out and less dishevelled one.
This year Husbands job changed for 8 months but we made the decision not to move so we could keep the girls at their current school and him to come home at weekends. It meant I would be a single Mum Monday to Friday, not ideal but workable. I won’t admit its been easy but generally its actually worked out much better than expected. We had all settled into a lovely routine until recently.
He often gets home on a Wednesday afternoon, sometimes being able to pick Poppy up from School. He enjoys dinner with us and helps with bath and bed. Then he finishes Friday afternoon, meaning we have every weekend together. We see him more days than we don’t so everyone is happy….
…that was until our tenants moved out of a house we own, leaving it in a complete state. On top of being away in the week he has now spent the past two weekends away doing the house up and the girls are feeling it. In fact we all are. They’ve been playing up, been more whingy and I’ve been more grumpy.
I think I do a pretty good job most of the time but recently it has been a struggle. In fact, on occasions I have felt that nothing I do is good enough and have just wanted to curl up cry 🙁
It’s been particularly bad as all the girls have been poorly. Daisy has had whooping cough (despite bring immunised). It is of course worse at night, meaning I’m up with her and not sleeping as well and they’ve all had a bit of a virus. If I’m honest the past few weeks have been a bit of a nightmare really All three girls have really clingy and in need of extra cuddles/ attention and as there is only one of me I’ve felt as though I’ve been pulled in all directions not making any of them happy.
Every morning I have them all up, fed, washed and dressed, ready for school but then I turn my back to get dressed myself and find Daisy naked and scribbling on the walls, Poppy colouring in instead of cleaning her teeth or Rosie trying to watch Peppa pig/ dressing the Moshi monsters in play dough outfits instead of putting her coat and shoes on.
Then there’s doing the school/preschool run 3x daily with a toddler with whooping cough. Obviously I can’t keep all the girls off when they are poorly but there’s no one I can leave Daisy with either. I ended up taking her covered in the rain cover so she couldn’t spread her germs and left her outside Rosies classroom (teacher on door watched her) while I popped in and settled Rosie. There’s quite a few pregnant mums so I didn’t want her near them and just did everything as quickly as possible. It was awful.
Oh and don’t get me started on homework. Poppy has reading everyday, weekly times table (currently 5’s, 2’s & 3’s) and spelling tests as well as regular math goals. This in itself isn’t a problem but add in two other children who are jealous that Poppy is getting my full on attention and it soon is. Both demanding to sit on my knee and getting up to all sorts of mischeif to get me to look or talk to them.
I do the best I can ensuring that they are all well looked after and that they all feel loved and valued. We have a great routine, they all sleep and eat well (when not poorly) and I try to ensure they all get some time alone with me. Daisy has me to herself in the mornings, Rosie for 3 hours Tuesday to Friday afternoons whilst Daisy naps and Poppy has some time after school and then once the younger ones are in bed. I usually read her an extra story and have a chat on her bed. Sometimes it feels as though whatever I do isn’t enough though…they want more!!
So how do single parents do this day in and day out? At least I know for us it’s not forever. I also have my parents close by who are a huge help. I have a new respect for those that have to do it alone and will never again judge another Mum for looking dishevelled, stressed out and harassed. After all, being a Mum is the hardest Job I’ve ever done and doing it without any help is worse.
It has definitely made me appreciate my hands on husband even more.
Karen x
Loving life with little ones
April 1, 2014 at 7:23 pm (11 years ago)Fab post Karen, I think you are doing a brilliant job and the girls are a credit to you ( and Husband too). It can’t be easy, I definitely look forward to Daddy getting home from work each day to help me with my 2 and you have 3! Lovely family picture too x
Would Like To Be
April 8, 2014 at 9:58 pm (11 years ago)Thank you, that means a lot x
Julia
April 2, 2014 at 4:59 pm (11 years ago)I think you just get used to how things are. Sounds crazy but when Anna and William were little I was just manic! Routine was everything. But when everything is managed so tightly it doesn’t take much to send the whole thing to pot. I’m glad you have your parents close.
Would Like To Be
April 8, 2014 at 9:59 pm (11 years ago)Thank you. Most of the time it’s ok but when they get sick or something it all goes wrong x
Clare Mansell
April 2, 2014 at 5:08 pm (11 years ago)Karen I do feel for you and most tenants are unfortunately errr… not very reliable and clean people! (I self-censored a bit there!) Do hope the house gets sorted soon so you can get someone in soon as voids are also stressful. As for the girls I couldn’t do it, even on a good day, with help and no illnesses! :-O
Would like to be
April 8, 2014 at 10:01 pm (11 years ago)House all sorted now thanks and tenants lined up so everything’s going to get easier. Just a bit skint this month, savings gone on renovating it. Certainly didn’t feel like my lovely home anymore!
Caroline (Becoming a SAHM)
April 3, 2014 at 7:33 am (11 years ago)Goodness, you are having a rough time! Awful when everything seems to conspire against you at once! Sounds like you are doing an amazing job, on your own at the moment – I couldn’t imagine life without my hands on hubby, and we only have 1 at the moment! Like you, I have full respect for single mums as it cannot be easy! I completely empathise about the tenants we have the same situation, nightmare Hope things improve for you soon!! xx
Would Like To Be
April 8, 2014 at 10:04 pm (11 years ago)It’s all getting easier this week thanks. House clean & new tenants lined up. Hope your situation gets sorted too xx