Anxiety in children…what do they have to be anxious about, how serious can it be and can anxiety in children be fixed?
A few months ago I discovered Poppy (aged 7) was becoming really anxious. She was worrying about everything and getting herself in a state about what seemed liked trivial things. She was worried about Mummy driving because she might pop the car tyre again like she did before christmas. She was worrying we might run out of petrol whenever we went out (even though it’s never happened before). She was particularly concerned about little Sister Daisy running off or accidentally eating egg (she has an allergy). She religiously checked the labels on anything that she thought might contain any. She was in a constant state of agitation or anxiety.
Of course I tried to talk to her and reassure her but to be honest I also thought she was being a bit over the top and silly. I know… not a great Mum!!
It was only when I discovered she was biting her hair and had bitten about 8 inches off around the front of her face one day that it all came pouring out. I was brushing her hair before bed as usual, when I noticed how short it looked around the front. I immediately thought either she or someone else had cut it. As I questioned her about it she burst into tears and told me she had bitten it off accidentally.
I was really worried she was eating it and began to panic a bit myself but she reassured me she hadn’t swallowed it and it wasn’t going to get wrapped around her insides. She had just been biting it whenever she was worried, which was a lot. I gave her a huge cuddle and just listened to her. Then we talked through it all and I told her it was my job to worry not hers. We discussed how we would keep her hair clipped back and tied back off her face but if she kept doing it we would have to have it cut. She agreed and told me she felt a little better just talking about it all with me.
The following evening we talked again and I asked her if she knew of anything that might help her to stop feeling so worried all the time. She told me in Year 2 they had been read a story about a little boy who worried lots and how his Mum made him a worry doll. He put it under his pillow and took it out to tell his worries to, apparently it worked. We talked about whether it had to be homemade or could be any doll and Poppy decided any doll would do. She picked one of her old Tinkerbell dolls whose wings were missing and we called her “Willow the Worry Fairy”. She popped her under her pillow and I left her to read for a little while:
When I came back 20 minutes later she was already feeling much better and had a big smile on her face. She told me it had worked. Since then we have not looked back. She still likes to have her hair tied back and needs too as its not yet long enough to just tie back but she seems much more relaxed again and no longer worries unnecessarily. The hair biting stopped instantly too:
Together with Willow and me making time to talk to her every night, I have my little girl back. No stress, no anxiety, no worries. It really was that simple.
Obviously i appreciate that Poppy is going to be a bit more sensitive than her Sisters and that she might be prone to worrying so will need to keep an eye out for the signs. For now though I am pretty sure that we have this under control.
So if your child is showing similar signs and you think they might be suffering from anxiety, you know what to do.
Karen x
Loving life with little ones
June 20, 2016 at 9:00 pm (9 years ago)Great idea Karen. I am glad Poppy is feeling better. little 1 is a serial worrier and bites her nails. She writes notes to the fairies and puts them on her fairy door at bedtime with her concerns and the ‘fairies’ write back. I think it helps!!